There were things I had in mind to say, but nothing seems right to write. I had lots of tea at work today and I ate a carrot and a banana. I made a wonderful dinner. I looked for a job and wondered if anything would make me happy. Money seems vacant and I figure people think I am a bit vacant as well.

lots of things make me sad. desolate gardens, cakes that aren't baked properly, untidy bedrooms/kitchens, broken glass, cigarettes that go out, grey, clothes with holes, shoes that wear out too quickly, missing people, losing things, wasting money, eating too much, staying in bed too long, forgeting to watch the sun rise, not finishing a book, grandma, my parents, other peoples parents, selfish people, myself.

this morning i baked a carrot and berry cake. it's in oven now as i write. i am going to jump on my bicycle and take that cake over to sarah and we're going to eat it and drink tea and cry because sadness is common among humans.

today i had a million of cups of green tea at work because there was nothing else to do.

I ate a blueberry bagel with cream cheese and strawberry jam for breakfast and it was so lovely to eat and to look at. I wish I had gotten a photograph.

There once were two Cordelia's who went to strangers funerals just to laugh at those who cried. No one liked them and they liked no one and that was the way it was.

white sangria to numb the numb.