The days have been pleasant and I know the big sadness doesn't go away, but you can push it back somewhere for someone else this time. I have been eating lovely food, drinking wonderful wine and enjoying the cold evenings. Work is peaceful and so are my idle days in the garden. I like to be alone and I like my few genuine friends and the fleeting conversations with strangers. I filled myself up with so much of your beauty, that I forgot I could be beautiful too.